The night is late and my neck is tired from shaking my head back and forth in disgust. I stare out into space through the blinds of my window to see if I can locate any clarity, but it does not exist. That's why my neck is so sore. I have been on this search for a long time now and have grown weary from my inability to move from this space where I am tonight. No matter how many times I extrapolate my decision, I have not mustered the strength or the courage to rationalize what my mind keeps telling me to do; leave! Get out! Save yourself! It's not getting any better...in fact it's getting worse by the day; the minute;the second.
Recently, I lost my job. I am pissed about that. I have been placed on home confinement by a non-Justice system that calls themselves delivering punishment for a traffic violation. I am donned with a strangulating ankle adornment on a daily basis that irritates my skin and costs me $10 per day for a minimum of 3 months. Rather than 60 days in jail, the system did me a favor by sentencing me to a GPS monitoring device tracking my moves to determine if I go beyond the designated 300 foot perimeter surrounding my domicile. I am on Probation for 12 months to the tune of $330 per month for 10 months. You do the math! Sounds to me like I am being robbed, yet they are able to get away with it and of course-nothing happens to them. Thank you State Reps for all your inclinations to keep people off welfare. This is certainly not the way. When asked if I could continue to go to work and report on my departure from home in the mornings and return after work, since we are talking about driving on a suspended drivers license in a fully insured vehicle, not picking up a pistol and placing it into someones face to feed my family and pay my bills-a felony. They said NO! you cannot work. In return they administer this aggravated assault on my family and tax payers because I must consider how we are going to eat until I get back to work. Hmmmm.
Where is the logic in all this prehistoric shiznit? The circumstances leading up to this predicament are too much to lament in this first blog; maybe later, but it still does not negate the lunacy in this dilemma. I am definitely culpable in driving when I was not supposed to do so. Instead I should've called the police and had them come to me. I am confident given the same script, you would react the same way I did.
A 17 year old daughter readying her mind to go to college in the fall and 11 year old Triplets to feed, clothe and provide shelter for. How in the HELL am I expected to exist, pay these fees on time, not violate my probation on some misdemeanor traffic bullshit! I am MAD AS HELL. I FEEL STUCK AND I CAN'T GET OUT(SIDE)! WTF!
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