Hope is by definition to want or expect something; to wish, i.e. I hope tomorrow will be better than today. Faith by definition is to hold true to a set of strong beliefs, trust in something or someone, i.e "in God we trust." Combined, both of these verbs propel us in one direction or another. When do we generally place them into action? It's usually during a time of despair, when we can't see the forest for the trees, when the path away from that feeling is eroding and is harder to reach than what the minds eye is capable of recognizing. In religious terms, faith is the evidence of things hoped for but not seen. Yet, hope is wanting something to be true so badly that we refuse to open our minds to the possibility that it just might not come to fruition. In that, lies the dychotomy of our decision making process.
Some days are overflowing with so much of both, then others are filled with emptiness and neither can be found. Then we find ourselves at that crossroads. It is said when you do not make a decision for yourself, a decision is being made for you. Isn't it better to be part of a decision that you control more than someone else making a decision that might evoke something onto you that you do not like at all? I once saw a movie that said it best, there is no winning, just different degrees of loosing. This is so true when hope and faith has long removed itself in a relationship and there is not really anything left to look forward to anymore. You find yourself just standing there; staring upward and around trying to sort it all out. At that point, we either become complacent and start blaming others for our current state or we become victors in the claim of what we want for the rest of our lives. Remember, no one man is an island, but know you are not alone unless you choose that for yourself.
In all relationships, we hope that we will live happily ever after; the fairy tales that many women grow up believing (with all due respect). And there is the faith that if I enter into this relationship, I can make it work-moreover the belief that men grow up with; knowing life is not a fairy tale. When adversity grapples us and flings us into the undesirable abyss of our disturbing co-existence with one another, we utilize both faith and hope that things will improve... and at first they do. The road ahead offers unyielding bumps, twist and turns, steep hills and downward bluffs. Learning to realize what lessons to employ from the past experience, becomes a great assistant to manifest a desired result. They (whomever "they" are) say it is not what happens to us that makes the difference, it's in fact the way we react or allow it to affect us that will determine our own success.
I have faith for what my life holds as it unfolds through adversity. I hope I am right because hope is so different than faith.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
AGAPE LOVE AND PREPARATION ALLOWS ME TO LET GO NOW
The time of year has come for some of us to enjoy the splendor of our life long efforts. Since Middle school, we have been getting our children ready to become an adult...whatever that is. Well, the time is upon us. Last minute tune-ups, more words of wisdom and encouragement, the culmination of answered prayers and a hope that all the lecturing will pan out to help him/her be the kind of person that is well respected, filled with character and running over with compassion for others, as well as a willingness to make good, sound decisions.
The letters that finally arrived in the mail at the end of March, were the finality that pushes each parent toward smiles and laughter; tears and fears. We have for so long been able to keep tabs on the goings and comings of our little Minnie-Me's and bring them safely back into the dens of comfort created for them 18 or so years ago. As I smile at the thought of what awaits my own as she extends her wings and soars off into the wild blue yonder, I can't help but place my hand on my heart with pride for a job well done. As I ponder the many tomorrow's that lay in wait for her spirit, I pre-pave her journey with the assured goodness of her soul, the brilliance of her light, the rays of her reach and the sheer determination she possesses to make her own mark exceedingly abundant.
This is an exciting time for both Parent and Child matriculating into the next phase of life. Great professional minds spend year after year turning the ignorance of the future leaders of the world into unsullied contributors than could easily go on to usurp the teacher themselves in what they were taught. I already know my daughter is fueled by an unshakeable belief that God blows on her wings to keep her buoyantly routed. She knows the why's, the why not's, the do's and dont's of becoming greater than the place she will be leaving behind. To that I say, "Fly high my and don't look down. You have equipped yourself for this moment in every nugget of your existence. The world is your oyster and I will still be here to help you cultivate your pearl of treasure along your pathway to success.
This is where you take off and I let go. I rest in the knowledge that the agape love I have for you, along with your consistent hard work day daily, allows me to let go; now!
The letters that finally arrived in the mail at the end of March, were the finality that pushes each parent toward smiles and laughter; tears and fears. We have for so long been able to keep tabs on the goings and comings of our little Minnie-Me's and bring them safely back into the dens of comfort created for them 18 or so years ago. As I smile at the thought of what awaits my own as she extends her wings and soars off into the wild blue yonder, I can't help but place my hand on my heart with pride for a job well done. As I ponder the many tomorrow's that lay in wait for her spirit, I pre-pave her journey with the assured goodness of her soul, the brilliance of her light, the rays of her reach and the sheer determination she possesses to make her own mark exceedingly abundant.
This is an exciting time for both Parent and Child matriculating into the next phase of life. Great professional minds spend year after year turning the ignorance of the future leaders of the world into unsullied contributors than could easily go on to usurp the teacher themselves in what they were taught. I already know my daughter is fueled by an unshakeable belief that God blows on her wings to keep her buoyantly routed. She knows the why's, the why not's, the do's and dont's of becoming greater than the place she will be leaving behind. To that I say, "Fly high my and don't look down. You have equipped yourself for this moment in every nugget of your existence. The world is your oyster and I will still be here to help you cultivate your pearl of treasure along your pathway to success.
This is where you take off and I let go. I rest in the knowledge that the agape love I have for you, along with your consistent hard work day daily, allows me to let go; now!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
FAMILY OR FOE?
There is nothing that should matter more than your family. Your bloodline. When everyone else has abandoned you and the chips are down, family will always be there. I don't think we spend enough time celebrating that element especially with it having so much meaning and purpose to who we are today. It is a universal concept that transcends each race.
So much is learned from family; love, confidence, integrity, how to relate to others, many chances to forgive, not to mention, how to get mad at others and stay mad for a very long time. We get to together on certain holidays to remind us of who we are and where we come from, but sometimes, things happen in life that cause dissension, resentment, hatefulness and separate us from that love. Well today (Easter Sunday) is one of those occasions when we come together to edify one another and smile and laugh and enjoy the eatable goodness passed down from Grandma and her sisters
Like anything of substance, planning helps a lot. Easter meal represents the resurrection of my Savior-Jesus Christ; the fallen son of God. Through him we should look at his life and decide how we are going to live our own lives. Will we become a family that sticks together through thick and thin or will we weaken to the desires that split us further apart from each other and breakdown that theory. Jesus teaches us that all things are possible and I believe it is necessary to challenge ourselves to be more like him on a daily balance and upon facing the next cogitation that presents itself-favorable or not. We play an intrinsic part in the path of our own enigma and so do the people you call family.
Be it good times or bad, there needs to be someone you know in your heart will fight side by side with you in battle. Friends can definitely become family and family can become the best of friends. When you are going through your roughest periods, when everything you touch seem to taste sour, when those you thought were there for you all along, have long dissociated themselves and stop taking your calls, who do you count on at that point? Jesus will never forsake you and a good friend will always have your back, but when it comes to your "family," are they friends or are they foe? No matter what, you are the change agent for that future regardless of the past.
So much is learned from family; love, confidence, integrity, how to relate to others, many chances to forgive, not to mention, how to get mad at others and stay mad for a very long time. We get to together on certain holidays to remind us of who we are and where we come from, but sometimes, things happen in life that cause dissension, resentment, hatefulness and separate us from that love. Well today (Easter Sunday) is one of those occasions when we come together to edify one another and smile and laugh and enjoy the eatable goodness passed down from Grandma and her sisters
Like anything of substance, planning helps a lot. Easter meal represents the resurrection of my Savior-Jesus Christ; the fallen son of God. Through him we should look at his life and decide how we are going to live our own lives. Will we become a family that sticks together through thick and thin or will we weaken to the desires that split us further apart from each other and breakdown that theory. Jesus teaches us that all things are possible and I believe it is necessary to challenge ourselves to be more like him on a daily balance and upon facing the next cogitation that presents itself-favorable or not. We play an intrinsic part in the path of our own enigma and so do the people you call family.
Be it good times or bad, there needs to be someone you know in your heart will fight side by side with you in battle. Friends can definitely become family and family can become the best of friends. When you are going through your roughest periods, when everything you touch seem to taste sour, when those you thought were there for you all along, have long dissociated themselves and stop taking your calls, who do you count on at that point? Jesus will never forsake you and a good friend will always have your back, but when it comes to your "family," are they friends or are they foe? No matter what, you are the change agent for that future regardless of the past.
Friday, April 22, 2011
BEFORE YOUR I DO'S TURN INTO I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!
Remember those days when the butterflies were loosed in your stomach every time the phone rang because you knew who was on the other end of the line...it was your " boo." Certain things came and went, including time and before you knew it (or maybe you did koew) the rings were purchased, the location was secured, the friends and family were contacted and in place, tuxes and dresses incomparable, hair done and all the vows exchanged. Now, the deal is sealed and titles have changed. JUST MARRIED!
Marriage can be tough. Correction...,marriage is tough! Patience, Endearment, Forgiveness, Intimacy, Children, Finances, Quality time, Present and Future decisions, Friends (mutual and otherwise), Personal Privacy, Intimacy, Intimacy, more Intimacy (outside and inside the bedroom), Domestic responsibilities of each person involved. These are just a few subjects that need in depth dialogue PRIOR to saying I do. The importance of these matters and how they play out to shape the present and future tense of a relationship, will always prove to be paramount in the outcome if ignored. There must be open and honest dialogue with a willingness to listen before speaking. As the old adage goes, "first seek to understand, then to be understood." I know that harder to do, but is your life partner worth the full consideration of his/her feelings-whether you agree or disagree.
How much time will you make to hear out your mate and how much time will you dedicate to making a change to ensure they are happy or do you want someone else to listen to them whenever they have something to say? Do you want someone else to become their best friend or will you ask yourself is there more I can do for my significant other. Mind you, this is a 2 way street. Look in the mirror and make a change. Never wait on someone else to change before you decide to give them what you already know what they need. If not, you can easily find yourself straying in the realm of "I Don't want to do this anymore" and with that preponderance of emotions and everything that could have been avoided long before your "I Do's," you won't.
Marriage can be tough. Correction...,marriage is tough! Patience, Endearment, Forgiveness, Intimacy, Children, Finances, Quality time, Present and Future decisions, Friends (mutual and otherwise), Personal Privacy, Intimacy, Intimacy, more Intimacy (outside and inside the bedroom), Domestic responsibilities of each person involved. These are just a few subjects that need in depth dialogue PRIOR to saying I do. The importance of these matters and how they play out to shape the present and future tense of a relationship, will always prove to be paramount in the outcome if ignored. There must be open and honest dialogue with a willingness to listen before speaking. As the old adage goes, "first seek to understand, then to be understood." I know that harder to do, but is your life partner worth the full consideration of his/her feelings-whether you agree or disagree.
How much time will you make to hear out your mate and how much time will you dedicate to making a change to ensure they are happy or do you want someone else to listen to them whenever they have something to say? Do you want someone else to become their best friend or will you ask yourself is there more I can do for my significant other. Mind you, this is a 2 way street. Look in the mirror and make a change. Never wait on someone else to change before you decide to give them what you already know what they need. If not, you can easily find yourself straying in the realm of "I Don't want to do this anymore" and with that preponderance of emotions and everything that could have been avoided long before your "I Do's," you won't.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I'M STUCK AND I CAN'T GET OUT(SIDE)
The night is late and my neck is tired from shaking my head back and forth in disgust. I stare out into space through the blinds of my window to see if I can locate any clarity, but it does not exist. That's why my neck is so sore. I have been on this search for a long time now and have grown weary from my inability to move from this space where I am tonight. No matter how many times I extrapolate my decision, I have not mustered the strength or the courage to rationalize what my mind keeps telling me to do; leave! Get out! Save yourself! It's not getting any better...in fact it's getting worse by the day; the minute;the second.
Recently, I lost my job. I am pissed about that. I have been placed on home confinement by a non-Justice system that calls themselves delivering punishment for a traffic violation. I am donned with a strangulating ankle adornment on a daily basis that irritates my skin and costs me $10 per day for a minimum of 3 months. Rather than 60 days in jail, the system did me a favor by sentencing me to a GPS monitoring device tracking my moves to determine if I go beyond the designated 300 foot perimeter surrounding my domicile. I am on Probation for 12 months to the tune of $330 per month for 10 months. You do the math! Sounds to me like I am being robbed, yet they are able to get away with it and of course-nothing happens to them. Thank you State Reps for all your inclinations to keep people off welfare. This is certainly not the way. When asked if I could continue to go to work and report on my departure from home in the mornings and return after work, since we are talking about driving on a suspended drivers license in a fully insured vehicle, not picking up a pistol and placing it into someones face to feed my family and pay my bills-a felony. They said NO! you cannot work. In return they administer this aggravated assault on my family and tax payers because I must consider how we are going to eat until I get back to work. Hmmmm.
Where is the logic in all this prehistoric shiznit? The circumstances leading up to this predicament are too much to lament in this first blog; maybe later, but it still does not negate the lunacy in this dilemma. I am definitely culpable in driving when I was not supposed to do so. Instead I should've called the police and had them come to me. I am confident given the same script, you would react the same way I did.
A 17 year old daughter readying her mind to go to college in the fall and 11 year old Triplets to feed, clothe and provide shelter for. How in the HELL am I expected to exist, pay these fees on time, not violate my probation on some misdemeanor traffic bullshit! I am MAD AS HELL. I FEEL STUCK AND I CAN'T GET OUT(SIDE)! WTF!
Recently, I lost my job. I am pissed about that. I have been placed on home confinement by a non-Justice system that calls themselves delivering punishment for a traffic violation. I am donned with a strangulating ankle adornment on a daily basis that irritates my skin and costs me $10 per day for a minimum of 3 months. Rather than 60 days in jail, the system did me a favor by sentencing me to a GPS monitoring device tracking my moves to determine if I go beyond the designated 300 foot perimeter surrounding my domicile. I am on Probation for 12 months to the tune of $330 per month for 10 months. You do the math! Sounds to me like I am being robbed, yet they are able to get away with it and of course-nothing happens to them. Thank you State Reps for all your inclinations to keep people off welfare. This is certainly not the way. When asked if I could continue to go to work and report on my departure from home in the mornings and return after work, since we are talking about driving on a suspended drivers license in a fully insured vehicle, not picking up a pistol and placing it into someones face to feed my family and pay my bills-a felony. They said NO! you cannot work. In return they administer this aggravated assault on my family and tax payers because I must consider how we are going to eat until I get back to work. Hmmmm.
Where is the logic in all this prehistoric shiznit? The circumstances leading up to this predicament are too much to lament in this first blog; maybe later, but it still does not negate the lunacy in this dilemma. I am definitely culpable in driving when I was not supposed to do so. Instead I should've called the police and had them come to me. I am confident given the same script, you would react the same way I did.
A 17 year old daughter readying her mind to go to college in the fall and 11 year old Triplets to feed, clothe and provide shelter for. How in the HELL am I expected to exist, pay these fees on time, not violate my probation on some misdemeanor traffic bullshit! I am MAD AS HELL. I FEEL STUCK AND I CAN'T GET OUT(SIDE)! WTF!
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